Do you move swiftly forward in your life, taking sure-footed steps toward the future? Is your “today” what you expected it to be when you set out on a course five, ten or even 20 years ago? Do you have a vision for your next “tomorrow,” and are you at the helm of your own journey?

If you’re sitting around stagnating, wondering what direction to go in, you might first acknowledge how your current view of your self has helped create the situation you’re in, and how a boost in self confidence might be just the thing you need to set out on a path to change.

Why does how we feel about ourselves matter if we want to set and achieve goals?

If you’re lagging in the self esteem department, then it’s pretty difficult to become your own personal cheerleader. And yet that’s exactly what we need to become when our lives are crying out for change and support is nowhere to be found.

What aspects of your daily life feed into your self esteem?

Self esteem
  • Recognition for our efforts – Being recognized for a job well done, or being appreciated for our contributions at home, at work, and in the community, all help to bolster self confidence and increase self esteem. 
  • Healthy verbal communication – Being spoken to with respect, having our ideas considered, being listened to, feeling heard, having meaningful exchanges with others who make an effort to understand us just as we do them… all of these shape how we feel about ourselves. 
  • Healthy nonverbal communication – Being offered meaningful eye contact, exchanging smiles, experiencing positive, affirming body language (appropriate to the relationship), giving and receiving affection freely with family and intimate partners.

What parts of your daily life can eat away at self esteem?

If you’re stuck in a chronically dysfunctional situation either at home, at work, or both, this can definitely cause a deflated feeling of not being able to live up to others’ expectations, or at the very least, handle your own problems to a successful outcome. 

An example of this might be if you work at a company that’s short staffed, so that your daily tasks are impossible to accomplish due to the shortage of hands. You may be unjustly blamed, or inadequately compensated, at such a place of business, which can cause self confidence to wane. 

If you’re coming home at the end of each day to face a toxic relationship where communication is fraught with misunderstandings and stressful arguments are a daily event, then this too can wear down self esteem replacing optimism with a sense of hopeless despair.

Toxic relationships and misunderstandings can lower self esteem

Situations like these can seriously get our minds stuck on a repeat mode of frustration, aggravation, and over thinking things. If you’re someone who can’t rest until a problem is solved, then feeling as though your work life, home life, or both, are spiraling out of control can put you in a terrible mental state where you feel as though you’re incapable of handling anything, which is in fact could not be farther from the truth.

What can you do to jump-start positive feelings about the person you are and the direction you’re taking in life?

Assess your strengths. When others take us and the work we do for granted for too long, sometimes we, too, can lose sight of our own accomplishments, potential, and personal worth. But we must remember not to rely too heavily on validation from other people. You got as far as you’ve come thus far by relying on your own abilities and talents. So if it’s time for you to reset yourself up for success, and a new outcome, then take some time to review what makes you “you.” 

“Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it. ”

-M. Scott Peck

In doing this, not only will you give yourself the confidence boost you need to land that interview, close that relationship door, make that move, or launch that new business, but you’ll also become much clearer on what’s not going right in your current situation, and what steps you need to take for a more favorable outcome.